Depression Makes Me a Bad Friend

Depression can kill you. Maybe not always in a literal sense, but it has a sneaky way of blowing out the fire inside your soul and letting you freeze. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not here to convince you that I’m a victim, or blame all of my problems on my mental health. I am simply here to help give some clarity and perspective to people who may not understand what it’s like to fight with the demon called depression. If you have a friend or loved one who has, or might have depression, anxiety or any other mental health disorder, this is for you. 

Depression makes me a shitty friend sometimes, and here’s why. Sometimes I feel like no matter how badly I want to tell someone that I’m struggling, I can never actually get the words out of my mouth. I don’t want to seem like a negative person, or that I’m making excuses or seeking attention. I don’t want to be a burden. Even though I feel love from my friends and family, my disordered brain convinces me that none of it is real, and that I don’t matter. That nothing I do really matters. And when those thoughts set in, it doesn’t even occur to me that I’m powerful enough to hurt people I care about. It doesn’t occur to me that the people that I love might be missing me when I’m in isolation, or that the words that come out of my mouth have enough influence to cause damage.

It’s like there are two parts of my brain that are constantly at war with each other. The first side is the part of myself that wants to be better. I want to thrive, and constantly grow and give life everything I have. But the other side is the part of myself that convinces me that I can’t do it. That I’m not good enough, and I never will be. It’s the part of my brain that feels hopeless, and takes over more often than people realize. When this part of my brain takes over, I need every single ounce of my energy to fight back, rest, and heal. Sometimes this takes me away from people that I love, because I don’t want them to feel burdened by my constant need for healing. 

Depression is a constant battle. It’s a shadow that’s constantly waiting for a moment of weakness to manifest into complete darkness. I will completely own up to sometimes being a bad friend when I’m in a dark place, and that’s on me. But I’m here to tell you that a simple text or call from a friend can make the world of difference. If you haven’t heard from a friend in a while, contact them. You never know what they may be going through in that moment, and you may have the power to make life a little easier for them.

Life of an INFP; Our Strengths

Hey there, I’m back with another INFP post. In my last entry, we discussed the weaknesses of the INFP personality type, and you can check that out here. Today we’re going to be talking about the strengths and lovely qualities that INFPs typically possess. Just like any other post on my site, this is solely based on my own research and experiences. Feel free to share your own thoughts in the comments!

  •  We value authenticity more than anything.

INFPs are known for having very strong values, and the authenticity of ourselves and others is definitely one of them. We hate shallow socializing and thrive off of deep conversations with people. This makes it very easy for people to open up and feel comfortable around INFPs, and we often go the extra mile to make sure people feel accepted. Although we value our authentic selves, we are very careful about who we let see that side of us. Sometimes this can come off as being standoffish, but we are really just observing to make sure we can trust that we will be accepted.

  •  We are extremely creative.

This is probably one of the biggest strengths of the INFP. We have a deep desire to create things that mean something to people and ourselves. We tend to be very good at entertaining new ideas and thinking outside the box. INFPs are also unconventional and unique thinkers, and we take pride in that part of ourselves.

  •  We are rarely materialistic.

I guess this could be interpreted as a strength, or a weakness depending on who you ask. But to me, this is a strength for sure. I find myself daydreaming about how I can simplify my life as much as possible, and I’m sure many other INFPs do the same. We seek value in experiences more than material things, which makes us feel that we are living life to the fullest. My dream is to totally convert a van, live out of it, and travel. It sounds like a simple life to some, but to me it sounds like a life of fulfillment.

  •  We are passionate about the things we love.

When INFPs realize that they are passionate about something or someone, we go all in. We have no problem dedicating our time and energy to something that we feel is an important part of our lives. It takes a lot to intrigue an INFP, but we’re hooked once our interest is sparked. A passionate INFP can be a very powerful force.

  •  We are very adaptable.

INFPs are very intuitive people, and can often use this to their advantage while adapting to big changes. We are very resilient and although change can sometimes scare us (like it scares most people), we are able to rise to the challenge and use our creativity to make the most of change and use the experience to grow as a person. We are very good at looking at the bigger picture and trusting that we will come out on the other side, better than ever.

Thank you guys so much for reading, and I hope that this has helped to shed some light on the amazing qualities we possess as INFPs. Don’t forget to like, follow, and comment to be involved in the conversation, and be notified about my next post. Bye yall!

Life of an INFP; Drawbacks and Challenges

So, I’m pretty confident that people have a pretty positive reaction to INFPs after an initial interaction. We tend to be very empathetic and can typically see things from several points of view, which makes us great mediators and listeners. However, no one is perfect, and we have our drawbacks just like any other type. I’m going to go through some of the drawbacks I personally have as an INFP, and talk about how I deal with these challenges. If you have any input you would like to share, I always welcome people to sound off in the comments.

  • We can be way too idealistic.

So this can be a strength and a weakness all in one package. I think being an idealist can be a magical thing. We can see scenarios that benefit everyone and a lot of the time are able to make these scenarios a reality. However, when we have big dreams of an idealistic world, reality can be extremely draining. We also tend to put people we love on a pedestal and hold them to unrealistic expectations. This can set our loved ones, and ourselves, up for failure in the long term.

  •  We can become unmotivated towards tasks we are not passionate about.

Another drawback that INFPs can have is the inability to carry out tasks that we are simply not inspired to do. For me personally, this can include cleaning, organizing, making important phone calls, or doing schoolwork. INFPs need to find meaning and importance in the things that occupy their time, but this can result in the avoidance of important tasks. 

  •  We take criticism personally.

Even criticism that is intended to be constructive can make INFPs feel like they are being personally attacked. We tend to hold ourselves up to unrealistically high standards, and if we feel as though we are not living up to those standards, we perceive this as failure. Criticism can come across as conflict, which is something that INFPs will avoid like the plague. Conflict interferes with INFPs harmonious mindset, and cause them to mentally and emotionally shut down.

  •  We tend to feel lonely.

Although INFPs tend to be very warm and kind people, it is common for them to have a very small but close friend group. INFPs tend to have a very hard time trusting that people will understand them. We have a tendency to make ourselves outcasts, which can lead to feeling depressed and isolated from the people around us. Since we are an introverted personality type, it is very common for us to feel exhausted from prolonged social interaction. This can make engaging and making lasting connections with others very difficult for us.

  •  Our heads are always in the clouds.

Although this seems like a relatively harmless quality to have, it can actually be quite a drawback for INFPs. Having a vivid imagination is a great, but if we let our imagination run wild for too long, we can lose hours of reality at a time. This can be extremely disorienting and uncomfortable for us and can be very draining.

Thank you all for sticking around until the end. In my next post, I will be discussing the great qualities of INFPs. Don’t forget to like this article if you enjoyed it, and I will see you again soon!

Meyers Briggs Results; The Breakdown

So, in my last post, we discussed whether the Meyers Briggs test is legitimate, or if it’s bogus. The results were inconclusive, but if you’d like, you can take a look and decide for yourself here. Now that we have an idea of what this test is, and how it works, I’m going to dive a little deeper and tell you what these results actually mean. Keep in mind that this is how I interpret the information that I’ve researched, and I welcome people who may have differing opinions to sound off in the comments.

Alright, so the first letter can either be an E (Extrovert), or an I (Introvert). Extroversion is exactly what it sounds like. It’s drawing energy from external sources in social situations. People who are extroverted tend to feel stimulated from social interaction and tend to feel excited to engage. On the other hand, Introversion can cause someone to become drained from social interaction, and it is common for introverts to “recharge” by being alone. Introverts can still feel engaged and social; however, they can only sustain that engagement for a certain amount of time before becoming exhausted.

The second letter is either an N (Intuitive) or an S (Sensing). Intuitive people tend to go with their instincts or their “gut feeling.” People who are more intuitive also tend to be more independent in their thought patterns and find it harder to depend on evidence in their decision making. If something doesn’t “feel” right, intuitives have a harder time believing things even if there is evidence to back it up. Intuitives also tend to have more abstract and imaginative ideas. People who are sensing tend to be more grounded and concrete thinkers. They are very logical and base their ideas on solid evidence. Sensors also tend to trust what is certain and tend to reject ideas if there isn’t a practical way to execute. They tend to always be in the “here and now” and are typically very aware of their surroundings.

Next, are the letters T (Thinking) and F (Feeling). Thinkers tend to be very logical and weigh the pros and cons to every situation. They value being truthful and straightforward and tend to be realists. Thinkers can be very commonly mistaken for being cold or uncaring, but in reality, they value being fair and unbiased without letting their feelings cloud their judgment. Feelers tend to value harmony over everything else when making decisions. They try to look for tactful ways of communicating, however, this can hinder their ability to be transparent and truthful. People who are feeling are often referred to as being idealistic and crave happiness from all sides. They also tend to be very sensitive and can commonly have a hard time rationalizing their emotions.

The final letters are P (Perceiving) and J (Judging). These letters are an indicator of how you interact with the world around you. People who perceive tend to be more spontaneous and prefer keeping their options open. They grow bored with routines and have a tendency to start projects that never seem to get finished. Although they are carefree and are good at adapting to change, they can quite often be disorganized and lacking in structure. On the other hand, people who judge crave structure and prefer to have a plan for nearly everything in life. These people tend to be very responsible and follow through with projects once they start them. They can also accomplish tasks very quickly and efficiently. Their sequential way of thinking can make it difficult for Judgers to adapt to change, but it also enables them to have a methodical and organized approach to life.

I’d love to hear your interpretation of the letters in the comments below! Also, if you’d like some reading material on this subject, check out Type Talk: The 16 Personality Types That Determine How We Live, Love, and Work

The Meyers Briggs Test; Is this thing legit?

So most people are familiar with, or have at least heard of the Meyers Briggs personality test. But, if you’ve been living under a rock, I’ll give you the rundown of what it is and how it works. The Meyers Briggs test is an in depth test that asks you questions about how you feel about social situations, when and where you feel most comfortable, and how you react to different sets of circumstances. Your results are then compiled into a group of four letters that can give you some insight about who you are as a person. Its like magic right?

So what do these letters mean exactly? Well there are sixteen different ways that these letters can be grouped together, which means there are sixteen distinct personality types. The groups of letters can consist of:

  • E (Extrovert) or I (Introvert)
  • S (Sensing) or N (Intuitive)
  • T (Thinking) or F (Feeling)
  • J (Judging) or P (Percieving)

What each of these mean specifically is probably something I should make a separate post about, because there is A LOT of information.

But anyways, is it legit? Are there really only sixteen personalities that you can be grouped into? The short answer is, I don’t really know. To an extent, I believe this test can give you a lot of insight into who you really are as a person, and why you react to certain stressers in your life. It can be a wonderful tool as a reference to better yourself and find a healthier balance within yourself. With that being said, the results can have an unhealthy impact as well. For people who are having a bit of an identity crisis, I would tread with caution. Although the results of this test can bring great insight and shine a light on who you are, it can also lead to a bit of obsession and stunted growth. To some people, knowing why you react to things in a certain way can cause you to no longer hold yourself accountable for mistakes because its easier to blame it on your personality type. My conclusion is, the test can go either way. The ball is in your court to decide if the test will help or harm you. Take it with a grain of salt, learn a little about yourself, and don’t take the results too seriously if you don’t like your outcome. In the grand scheme of things, you are the master of who you are.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject, so leave a comment down below if you’d like!